i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just gargled with NyQuil
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
