32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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