Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
