my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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