Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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