I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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