fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
