I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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