problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
