I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
