I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
