He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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