So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize