I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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