I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
