dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I need moral support for this bender
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
