Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
