i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
