Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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