The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
