barbara walters just said penis...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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