i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
