My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
