Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize