have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
