I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
