Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
