I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
