wat bout pragnant strippers??
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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