kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
