Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
