I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
