I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
