I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
