I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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