I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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