I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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