these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
