Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
