I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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