Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You're my little dorito
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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