Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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