whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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