jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
