Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
