i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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