There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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