Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
