Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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