We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize