yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
