Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
