No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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