If that was your dad, he is hot
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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