she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
