we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
