so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
