yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
