I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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