I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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