and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When did angry sex become our thing?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize