she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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